I read a lot of good books. However, I occasionally read a book so good it is a MUST-READ. TOTAL FORGIVENESS by R.T. Kendall is one of those books. EVERYONE should read this one—even if you rarely read an entire book. The message is relevant for every Christian. But it is essential for everyone involved in ministry as a pastor, teacher, or Christian leader.
No matter how faithful, skilled, loving, well-intentioned, and caring you are, if you are involved in ministry, you will be HURT. Some of the hurts will be accidental and unintentional. Still, some wounds will be the result of on-purpose, unfair, mean-spirited, and very personal attacks on your leadership, your ministry, your character, and even your family.
When we, or those we love, are unfairly wounded, it is easy to feel justified in holding on to the hurt. Kendall captures our natural response in the book’s subtitle, “When everything in you wants to hold a grudge, point a finger, and remember the pain—God wants you to lay it all aside.”
Kendall writes from painful personal experience. For twenty-five years, R.T. pastored historic Westminster Chapel in London, England. He followed Rev. Martin Lloyd-Jones, one of the most gifted and influential preachers of the 20th century. Early in his ministry at the church, Kendall and his wife were deeply wounded by a devastating and unfair personal attack. Hoping for a sympathetic ear, Kendall shared his hurt with a minister friend. However, Kendall was shocked by unexpected words of reprimand, “RT, you must totally forgive them. Until you totally forgive them you will be in chains. Release them, and you will be released.”
WHY is it essential to TOTALLY FORGIVE and lay it all aside? A few brief excerpts illustrate some of the book’s key principles:
- “I had to make an important decision: Which do I prefer—the peace or the bitterness? I couldn’t have it both ways. I began to see that I was the one who was losing by nursing my attitude of unforgiveness. My bitterness wasn’t damaging anyone but myself.”
- “I have come to the conclusion that the primary way we grieve the Spirit in our lives is by fostering bitterness in our hearts. I say this because it is the first thing the apostle Paul mentions after warning us not to grieve the Spirit:”
- “Social scientists are discovering that forgiveness may help lead to victims’ emotional and even physical healing and wholeness. …one of the primary discoveries of these studies is that the person who gains the most from forgiveness is the person who does the forgiving.”
There is much more in this powerful book. I feel so strongly about its value that I bought extra copies and keep one in my car to give away whenever I meet a person struggling with forgiveness. The book is available on Amazon in hardback, paperback, Kindle e-book, and as an audiobook.