Too expensive. That describes the cost of almost everything today. However, I’m not talking about groceries or gas. There are attitudes I can’t afford, specifically, unforgiveness and bitterness. I’ve often heard, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” However, the damage to our own heart and spirit is not the only reason unforgiveness and bitterness are too expensive. Bitterness can also grieve the Holy Spirit causing God’s precious Spirit to withdraw His anointing from our life and ministry. R. T. Kendall rightly points out that bitter critical words can grieve the Holy Spirit.

By holding a grudge. A curt, flippant word. A tongue that hurts another’s credibility. … The chief way we grieve the Spirit is by bitterness. A bitter spirit that always seems right at the time. We feel nothing. … It seems right when we are bitter. Totally justified in our own hearts. But the Spirit has excused Himself, possibly only to return when we put things right. (emphasis added)[1]

Kendall’s point of view has a sound basis in Scripture. The Bible clearly warns, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths …do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God …Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Eph. 4:29-31, NIV, emphasis added). In harmony with Kendall’s perspective, respected Bible scholar, Clinton E. Arnold, comments, “Evil speech—indeed, all forms of unholy behavior—deeply hurts the Spirit, … rotten talk is not only harmful to the health of the Christian community; it grieves the Spirit of God.”[2]

It’s also important to note that when we sin by “evil speech” and “rotten talk” we may not be immediately aware that we have grieved the Holy Spirit and lost the Spirit’s anointing. Kendall uses the story of Sampson and Delilah to illustrate.

We almost never know at the time we grieve the Spirit. It is like when Samson gave his secret (why he had such enormous strength) to Delilah. … The result: He lost his anointing temporarily and was as weak as a kitten. … “But he did not know that the LORD had left him” (Judges 16:20). In other words, when he revealed the secret of the anointing to Delilah, he didn’t feel a thing. But when he tried to do what he was always able to do before, he was utterly powerless. And yet the departure of the anointing was painless and without any conscious feeling. (emphasis added)[3]

When we realize we have grieved the Spirit, Kendall suggests the solution is to repent of our bitter words and attitudes as soon as possible. In fact, he recommends we “learn to close the time gap between sin and repentance. … how long does it take to tell that grieving the Spirit is precisely what I did? … If you and I can learn to close the time gap to a few seconds, we are getting close to enjoying continuity of the ungrieved Spirit indwelling us.”[4]

I highly recommend the book, The Anointing: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, by R.T. Kendall. It’s been around for many years but is a real gem. The book discusses “Yesterday’s Man”—King Saul who has lost his anointing, “Today’s Man”—the Prophet Samuel who has the Spirit’s anointing right now clearly hearing God’s voice today, and “Tomorrow’s Man”—David, who already has an anointing, but is not quite ready to wear the crown and become king just yet.

[1] R. T. Kendall, The Anointing: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow (Lake Mary, FL: Charisma House, 2003), 135, Kindle.

[2] Clinton E. Arnold, Ephesians, Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2010), 305–306.

[3] Kendall, The Anointing, 134.

[4] Ibid., 135.